i don’t think of meaning and happiness. life has no meaning and searching for it is silly. we should spend our time reducing suffering of others we share this planet with, both people and animals. if we can, we should make the world less harsh, and encourage exploration and science because we are a curious people. happiness comes and goes and we know what makes us happy and if we can, we should do those things. there is no value in misery. death does not give me meaning. that makes no sense to me. this frantic search for meaning leaves me cold. the reframing of religion as spiritual, does likewise. there is no god, there is no meaning. and yet, i reach out to people all the time to try and help reduce their pain. i am compelled to do so. people tell me my life is meaningful. no, my acts have meaning for those i help, and while that is good, it does not mean i have a meaningful life. i am alive and that is what is important. and then i will be dead. and that will be that. nothing is “alloted” to us. that assumes an “allotor” which isn’t the case. it’s hard to accept at first that this is all there is, and the only meaning is what you make, but once you do, it’s liberating. i’ve really enjoyed this journey. it’s been great to be here and i hope the end is peaceful and wanted when it comes, but don’t we all// a.r., 11.03.09, new york times
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